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The Insightful Narcissist

temperenceNarcissist—that’s a word that’s been bandied about a lot lately.  Does anyone really know what a narcissist is—not just the definition, but what a narcissist truly is?

Most of our dictionaries define a narcissist as someone who thinks so highly of themselves that they are convinced that they are the center of the Universe; as someone who says, “Yes, it is all about me,” and means it.  Those same dictionaries state that this is an unhealthy state for anyone to be in.

A few years ago, a psychologist told me that there are nine stages of narcissism—from ‘0’—having absolutely no sense of self or self-worth to ‘9’—being so self-absorbed that no one else matters.  She went on to explain that the extreme stages 0 through 3 (“I’m not enough of anything”) and 7 through 9 (“I’m all there is”) are considered the unhealthiest on the scale while the middle stages—4, 5 and 6 are the healthiest or normal stages of narcissism.

That explanation made sense to me.  In life, there are extremes and where there are extremes there is always a middle ground—a place or point where the most neutral (and often, most natural) expression of an energy will be found.

The word narcissism comes from the ancient Greek tale of Narcissus, the boy who so loved his own reflection in a pond that that love led him to his destruction. In other words, Narcissus loved himself to such an extreme (and viewed the rest of the world as a mirror meant only to reflect his idea of beauty and perfection back to himself) that his lack of ‘self-reflection’ cost him dearly. (He was definitely a ‘9.’)

But, does self-admiration have to be disastrous?

We’re all narcissists, we all fit somewhere on that scale. (And if you don’t think that’s true, check out any social media sight. Only a narcissist would be convinced that everyone else wants to hear their opinion or see a photo of their breakfast.)  Most of us are more inclusive and insightful than the extreme stages, though. If we’re reasonably emotionally healthy, we fall somewhere on the scale at stages 4, 5 or 6. We want you to pay attention to us and we want to pay attention to you, as well.

Insightful is defined as: the act of ‘getting’ or apprehending the inner nature of a person, circumstance or situation.

An insightful narcissist is someone who looks within as well as outside themselves. They ‘get’ the value and meaning of a person, circumstance or situation from their own perspective and have the ability (and inclination) to share their perspective as they invite others to do the same. That’s the healthy way to look into that pond and admire yourself.


Mercury Retrograde Survival Guide

temperenceMercury, that wily planet of communication and patron god of merchants, writers and thieves will be shaking us up by committing its thrice yearly act of trickster’s mayhem– going retrograde on July 26th.  Mercury will be in the emotional sign of Cancer.  In addition to causing delays, misunderstandings and mix-ups galore, it will do so with lots of potential for emotional drama, so remember to check in with yourself and stay centered and grounded.

There are many who believe Mercury retrograde times bring into effect Murphy’s Law–“Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.” While that’s true in some cases, it also provides us with opportunities to go within and connect with our sources of inner truth.  It gives us the chance to become conscious of our true essence and learn how to position ourselves to our best advantage in all circumstances. Rather than Murphy’s Law, I find much more power in this admonition– “Be still and know.” 

By going within and being one with your inner silence, you can access a level of wisdom, brilliance and awareness that will enlighten and empower you.

True, some things will definitely go awry. How you deal with them makes all of the difference. A few Mercury retrogrades ago, a friend and her mother were traveling abroad.  After they checked their bags at the airport, my friend paid attention to her intuition, went back to the ticket counter and insisted that she be allowed to check the airport identification tags on their luggage against the baggage claim tags they’d been given. Sure enough, she discovered that their bags had been mis-tagged and were scheduled to be sent to a destination different from theirs! (Although this type of mix-up happens too often on its own, with Mercury retrograde, it becomes an epidemic.)

My friend averted several other communication and travel disasters on that trip because she never forgot it was a retrograde Mercury running the show. She double and triple checked everything and was able to make all of her connections with her baggage in tow.

Mercury retrograde is also a great time for research and investigation because both of those activities require a person to delve deeply into something as opposed to reaching out for results and what is hidden or not obvious tends to show itself more easily during a Mercury Retrograde period.

Yes, sometimes things will go wrong, but if you’re alert, you’ll come through this potentially stressful time just fine. A few other things to keep in mind– if you can, hold off on buying (or leasing) any big ticket items.  This is NOT the time to buy a house, a car or make a big investment. If you must, though, please make sure there’s an ‘out’ clause in your contract. And always, wait until Mercury goes direct before making any big decisions.

How to Have it All– Money and the Good Life

temperence“If you want something new, be open to having it come from anywhere, anything, any person.”

An excerpt from my book, Secrets of a Psychic Counselor:

“All my life, I’ve wanted to have nice things: a beautiful car and a home, and the means to travel, too.   For the most part, they always seem just out of reach for me.  Sometimes I have a lot of money, and sometimes I struggle.  I need to find, and learn how to maintain a level of consistency for bringing in the kind of income I want.”                                                                                                                                                                                               

My client’s story was a familiar one. You’ve probably said something like that about yourself, too. Creating an abundant life is necessary if you want to live a comfortable life.  Abundance means more than just money; it’s also connected to self-value, belief systems and energy flow. I’m often asked to create courses of action that will help bring about a desired result for my clients.        

I’m sharing a condensed version of the course of action I created for one of my clients here:

The ABUNDANCE BATH: take a total of six of these Abundance Baths within a 14 day period, just before bedtime.


3 Small Candles– 1 White, 1 Green, 1 Gold

Incense– whatever scent appeals to you

Green food coloring (once it’s in the bath, it won’t stain your skin)

 Sea Salt or Kosher Salt

 Bubble Bath


 Rose Oil or Rose Water or Lavender Oil or Lavender Water 

Inspirational Music– whatever gentle music you like as long as long as it has no lyrics

Marianne Williamson’s Affirmation (sometimes attributed to Nelson Mandela):

“Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.  We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?'” 

Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God; your playing small doesn’t serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. 

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.  It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone– and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”                          


Play your music throughout this process.  Keep the volume low enough to serve as background music and high enough for you to hear, without straining.

Light the candles and the incense, anytime between 35 minutes after the hour, and 5 minutes before the next hour.  (The minute hand is moving upward– bringing positive energy toward you.) Place them on a level surface in the bathroom– Green on the right, White in the middle, Gold on the left. 

Read the affirmation, out loud or to yourself. 

Prepare your Abundance Treatment Bath, as follows: To comfortably warm water, add Bubble Bath, ½ small bottle of Green food coloring, 3 Tablespoons of Honey, 1 Handful of Salt, 6 Drops of Rose or Lavender Oil or 3 Capfuls of Rose or Lavender Water.  Sit in the bath for at least fifteen minutes (longer if you like). 

NOTE: If your skin has an allergic reaction to salt– use dried lavender, in place of salt.

While in the bath, close your eyes.  Take a series of three deep, gentle, rhythmic breaths– relaxing more and more with each breath.  At the end of the third deep breath– with your eyes still closed, begin breathing normally and visualize or imagine a large oval picture frame in front of you.

In the center of this large, oval frame– visualize or imagine yourself serenely seated on a throne, in an outdoor setting.  Behind you, is your home, your castle.  You notice that you’re dressed richly and beautifully.  Even though the crown on your head is heavy, you don’t feel the weight of it.  You are totally comfortable and at ease with yourself and your surroundings. 

At your feet, to your left, is a pile of gold coins– a material symbol of your worth.  The energy radiating from your heart is also gold– it is a spiritual symbol of your worth.  See yourself pick up one of the gold coins, and hold it a few inches in front of your heart. 

As you look down at the gold coin in your hands, and the gold energy radiating from your heart– you see, feel and know, with a new depth of willingness, acceptance, vulnerability and joy– that they are made of the same substance as you and everything in  life– the Creator’s unconditional, unlimited, healing love.  Really feel that kinship.  Revel in the experience of the limitless source of your Divine Birthright of abundance, prosperity and joy.    

Breathe in this feeling of unconditional, unlimited love in the form of limitless abundance.  Visualize or imagine yourself using your abundance and wealth to have the lifestyle you want. Really feel the joy of it, as it gently, firmly moves through your being and caresses your heart.  Thank the Creator and thank yourself.   

Take another series of three deep, gentle, rhythmic breaths– and open your eyes.

When you’re ready, get out of the tub and rinse it out. Then, snuff the candle flames out.

Go to bed and have a rich, royal rest.

NOTE: whenever the desire or need for money occurs, begin taking this series of Baths– all kinds of luck, blessings and cash will come your way.

“Seek and ye shall find, ask and it shall be given, knock and the door will be opened.”

The more detailed version of this Abundance Treatment and nine others are in my book, “Secrets of a Psychic Counselor.” It can be ordered by going to my website, www.SheilaaHite.com and clicking ‘Store’ on the menu bar near the top of the page.

Independent Publishing of Tarot, Lenormand and Divination Decks – Part 2

temperenceIn my previous blog post, I wrote about the pros and cons of independently publishing your own books and card decks vs. contracting with a traditional publisher.

Both options are viable and promise their own type of satisfaction and both require your committing to a steep learning curb. There are projects that are suited to the independent publishing process and there are those that are better manifested via the traditional publishing route.

How you go about presenting your new ‘baby’ to the world will make a big difference in how much control you have over your projects future and your peace of mind.  Use this blog post as a guideline as you weigh your options and make your choice. Read more

Traditional vs. Independent Publishers of Books and Tarot Cards

temperencePart 1

You’ve got a great idea for a book or a deck of cards and you want to present it to the world.  The question most often asked at this point is, “do I travel the traditional publishing path or do I pull a ‘Christopher Columbus’ and go the independent publisher’s route?”

Both options are viable and promise their own type of satisfaction and both require your committing to a steep learning curb. There are projects that are suited to the independent publishing process and there are those that are better manifested via the traditional publishing route. Read more

What’s an Eclipse and Why is it Important?

temperenceAn eclipse is an event that occurs when one planet is temporarily obscured from our view by the passing of another planet over it.

The two types of eclipses that affect us most here on Earth are Solar eclipses and Lunar eclipses.  A solar eclipse occurs when the Moon passes in front of the Sun and either partially or fully obscures (hides) it from our view.  A lunar eclipse occurs when the Sun passes in front of the Moon and partially or fully hides it from our view.    We just experienced a solar eclipse on the new Moon on May 9th. Read more

Readers Studio 2013 – The Tarot & Psychology Conference

temperenceWhat a rush!  I’m just beginning to come down from the Readers Studio 2013 experience.  I know it’ll take some time and I’m grateful for that.  I feel like Dorothy, clicking her heels together and repeating over and over, “I don’t want to go home!  I don’t want to go home!”

Instead of the usual three days, on Thursday, April 25th, we made history as we had the honor of participating in the very first Tarot and Psychology conference in the world.  In addition to the exhilaration of RS13, we were also treated to new and different ways of relating to the Tarot, our clients and ourselves.   Read more

What is a Spiritual Hedonist?

temperenceAn excerpt from my latest book, The Spiritual Hedonist– A Guide to the Divine Art and Practice of Living Joyfully

Webster’s dictionary definition of (a) Spiritual—adj.—as, of or pertaining to sacred things or matters; pertaining to or consisting of spirit; pertaining to the spirit or soul; of or pertaining to the soul as the seat of moral or religious nature. And (b) Hedonist—n.—a person who practices the doctrine that pleasure or happiness is the highest good. Read more